Permission
by TaleBearer
Summary: Hakkai has fallen in love with Sanzo and wants to tell him so. Will Sanzo accept? Or is there something else Sanzo wants even more than Hakkai's love?


49

PERMISSION

by

TaleBearer

Sanzo lay stretched out on the cool sand of the quiet beach, up far enough to stay out of reach of the little wavelets that washed up against the lakeshore. Gojyo and Goku had gone off to see if there was any kind of food stand anywhere nearby. Sanzo lay there enjoying the protection and warmth his silk robes gave him. It was late afternoon, in the off season, and no one else was around to trouble him with their stares and problems and requests for preaching. A long, slow sigh of contentment eased out of him. He felt the echo of it brush against his cheek. Knowing it had to be Hakkai, and dreading the possible reasons for it, Sanzo opened his eyes.

Hakkai hovered above him, leaning on one elbow. For once the mask of smiling cheerfulness was gone. The green-eyed youkai stared down at Sanzo with a look of sorrow. Beneath that, Sanzo sensed a deep, unspoken longing.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sanzo asked.

"Waiting for you to open your eyes."

"Why?"

"So I can drown myself in their depths." A brief smile flitted across Hakkai's lips. The warmth in his voice increased. "That would be a happy death."

"Hakkai—" Sanzo pulled his elbows under himself. He had to get up, to get away.

"Sanzo, please." Hakkai laid his free hand on Sanzo's shoulder. The touch was light enough, but the weight of his hand and his forearm lying across Sanzo's chest pinned him there more effectively than the heaviest chains. "There's something I've been wanting to say to you. This is an opportune moment. Who knows when we may have another."

Sanzo stared up into Hakkai's deep emerald eyes, trying to read the thoughts that lay behind them. Part of him enjoyed the added warmth of Hakkai's touch. That only made his heart beat even harder. "Fine. Get on with it."

His harsh tone didn't fool Hakkai. Very little about Sanzo ever did, the talent Hakkai had that most aggravated Sanzo. Hakkai stared for a long moment into the amethyst depths of Sanzo's eyes, then let his head slowly drop until it rested in the hollow between Sanzo's neck and shoulder. His hand tightened on Sanzo's other shoulder.

"Sanzo," Hakkai whispered. "I love you."

Sanzo clenched his eyes shut. He would have been much happier if Hakkai had said something less dangerous, less frightening. Something like wanting to strip Sanzo naked, dip him in honey, roll him in sesame seeds, then have him for dessert. The sound of Hakkai's voice pulled Sanzo back from that fantasy. Sanzo mentally slapped himself then focussed on what Hakkai was saying.

"...don't want anything from you, Sanzo. I won't make any demands, or resort to those displays of affection you find so distasteful. There is just one thing I'll ask for, and then I'll say nothing more."

The heat of Hakkai's body pressed against his side was making it all the more difficult for Sanzo to keep his voice steady. "And what would that be?"

"All I want is your permission. Just give me your permission to love you, to cherish this feeling in my heart knowing that you know I feel it, and it's all right with you."

Sanzo pondered that. How very Hakkai. He was an expert at suffering in silence, at carrying both a grudge and a torch for a very long time. Sanzo knew he could rely on Hakkai to keep his word.

"Of course," Hakkai went on, "should there ever come a time when there might be something you want to give me, I would be more than delighted to receive it. But please understand, I'm not going to hold out expectations."

Sanzo bit his lip, fighting off a snort of cynical laughter. Again, this was just like Hakkai. He was saying he wouldn't come on to Sanzo, wouldn't let Sanzo know how much he wanted Sanzo or even if he was just feeling horny. Not like that perverted kappa. However, if Sanzo might be in the mood and felt like doing something about it, Hakkai would be more than happy to play along. Hakkai had now placed all control over the situation in Sanzo's hands. That was the way Sanzo liked it, as he was sure Hakkai well knew. Thus reassured, Sanzo relaxed, angling his body just enough to accept a little more of Hakkai's weight. He buried his nose in the dark silk of Hakkai's hair, inhaling its scent. Deep forests, rich earth, the clean green scent of herbs.

"All right," Sanzo said. "I accept those terms. You have my permission."

Now it was Hakkai's turn to relax against him. When Hakkai spoke, his voice was weak with relief. "Thank you, Sanzo." He rubbed his cheek against Sanzo's shoulder. "Thank you so much."

Hakkai's hand slid down from Sanzo's other shoulder to his waist, moving up between his shoulderblades. He curled his fingers into the ivory silk covering Sanzo's back. Sanzo's heart thudded harder. Instinct made him want to panic and shove Hakkai away. Something even deeper than instinct reached out for what Hakkai was offering, the warmth of his body and the comfort of his closeness and the sudden surge of desire that roused another kind of heat within Sanzo.

Sanzo sank his fingers into Hakkai's hair, combing through the silky chocolate strands, something he'd longed to do on those dark nights when the sound of the rain lashed his lonely soul. They lay there, listening to the rhythm of the waves, sharing each other's warmth in this new, so much closer way. Many thoughts came and went through Sanzo's mind before he decided to exercise a little of his new-found power. He tightened his grip on Hakkai's hair and eased his head up until they were eye to eye again.

"Kiss me, before those idiots come back."

Hakkai held back a moment, staring down at Sanzo with those eyes so green, deeper that a still, deep pond... Moving slowly, bit by bit, Hakkai lowered his head until his lips touched Sanzo's. Full soft lips, warm and moist and welcoming... Sanzo lifted his chin, pressing his mouth more firmly against Hakkai's. Hakkai sighed. His breath entered Sanzo's mouth like the gift of Hakkai's essence. Deeper warmth flared inside Sanzo. With an agile twist, he rolled them over, pinning Hakkai beneath him and thrusting his tongue between those soft lips. Hakkai groaned, both hands rising to clasp Sanzo's head as he buried his fingers in all that silky golden hair. Sanzo stroked Hakkai's tongue with his own. Hakkai responded by capturing Sanzo's tongue, sucking on it with such relentless erotic power that Sanzo finally had to jerk his head back and turn away.

"Enough! Enough!" He rested his forehead against Hakkai's shoulder, panting. "We have to stop. I can hear Goku yelling about something."

Sanzo raised his head to look down at Hakkai. The dark-haired man's face was flushed, his breathing ragged, his eyes just now regaining focus.

"As you wish, Sanzo," he whispered. "You know I'm your slave."

Again desire surged through Sanzo. He bent his head to bite the sensitive skin just behind Hakkai's ear. Hakkai's breath caught. His back arched, his hips flexing upward with a sudden sharp thrust. Sanzo made a mental note to remember that reaction when he had Hakkai naked and ready beneath him.

"You'd better get us to the next town fast." Sanzo ran the tip of his tongue along the curve of Hakkai's ear before giving the lobe a sharp nip. "My temper gets even worse when I'm frustrated."

"Tenkai forbid," Hakkai murmured, a twinkle in his good eye.

"Smart ass." Sanzo got up, shook the sand off his robes, then held out his hand to Hakkai. Hakkai stared at it for a long moment, then gripped it between his own as Sanzo hauled him up onto his feet.

"What?" Sanzo asked. "Why the surprise?"

"You've never offered me your hand before," Hakkai said. He smiled, a real smile, shy and sweet. "Sometimes I forget just how strong you really are."

Sanzo fired up a cigarette and dragged the welcome smoke deep into his lungs. "Is that your roundabout way of asking me to be gentle with you?"

Hakkai's eyes opened wide. A faint blush colored his cheeks. Sanzo smirked, strolling off down the shore even as Gojyo and Goku appeared at the top of the stairs leading down to the sand, shouting and holding up bento boxes.

Another night, another inn. Hakkai folded back the bedclothes and plumped his pillow. He'd showered and brushed his teeth then put on his plain blue cotton pajamas. His dirty clothes were put aside for washing, and tomorrow's choices for clean clothes lay neatly folded and waiting on the wooden chair beside the room's small table. On the table sat a jug of sake and two cups. Hakkai hoped Sanzo wouldn't feel the need to drink himself into a stupor in order to get some sleep. He placed his monocle atop the pile of clothing, then looked over at Hakuryu where he snuggled down in his own nest of blankets just inside the closet away from draughts.

"Goodnight, Hakuryu."

"Kyuuuu..." The little dragon opened one eye, then curled deeper into his blankets.

Hakkai sat down on his bed, swung his legs up and under the covers, then paused, listening to the sounds of Sanzo moving around in their little bathroom. Hakkai didn't know what to do. Should he just go to bed? Should he wait for some sign, some signal of whatever might be on Sanzo's mind? He didn't want to look too expectant, but on the other hand, he didn't want to look unwilling. It was so hard to know what to do in response to the signals Sanzo did or did not send.

Sanzo came out of the bathroom trailing a cloud of steam. It was a cold evening, making a hot shower a treasured luxury. Hakkai watched the droplets of water fall from Sanzo's damp hair. They gathered on his shoulders, then ran down his bare chest in little rivulets, following the lines of solid muscle. Sanzo wore his jeans, slung low on his hips as usual. Hakkai wanted to reach out and pull Sanzo close enough so Hakkai could lick up all those stray droplets. Or perhaps just catch him by one pocket then pull the jeans down the rest of the way.

Sanzo went on rubbing at his hair with a towel. He walked over to the window and looked out at the darkness, at the lowering clouds and the shifting wind. Hakkai now had a good view of Sanzo's back, all the ribs and muscles and the delightful sweep of Sanzo's moon pale skin. Sanzo turned from the window and pulled the towel from around his shoulders. He dropped it over the back of the wooden chair, then stalked over to his bed and threw himself down on it, lacing his fingers together behind his head. He stared at the ceiling. Hakkai watched him, sensing the restless energy burning just below the surface of Sanzo's skin. What thoughts drove the heretical priest now? What unhappy memories were stirring, making Sanzo shift and twitch and reach for a peace he couldn't grasp?

"Is your back bothering you, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked. As soft as his voice was, it seemed loud in the stillness.

Sanzo's head turned toward Hakkai. Those enthralling amethyst eyes focussed on him. As always, looking Sanzo straight in the face left Hakkai a little breathless. The man was just so beautiful. His restlessness kept him moving a little, making the muscles of his bare arms flex, creating ripples in the sculptured lines of his chest and belly. Hakkai was almost sure Sanzo had no idea what a sinuous display he was putting on.

"It's my neck," Sanzo finally replied.

"Sit up then," Hakkai said. "Let me warm up my hands, then I'll see what I can do."

As the party's healer, Hakkai was granted leave to touch Sanzo much more than Gojyo or Goku. Examinations, checkups, therapeutic massage... Clean, clinical terms for the contact of Hakkai's hands on Sanzo's body, terms that made it clear these were not moments of physical intimacy. As Hakkai worked his fingers and rolled his wrists, he smiled at the nonsense of that thinking. Yes, boundaries were important, but so was the physical contact and simple human warmth that Sanzo so desperately needed. Hakkai knew the priest would rather die than admit any such need, any such weakness.

Sanzo sat up on the edge of his bed. Hakkai looked around, trying to decide the best way to place himself so he could get the leverage he needed to really work out the tension in Sanzo's muscles.

"Perhaps the chair would be better," he said, moving his pile of clothing to the far side of his own bed.

"'Ch." Sanzo got up, plucked the towel off the back of the chair and threw it on the foot of his bed, then sat down, arms crossed over his chest.

With a small sigh Hakkai picked up the towel, carried it into the bathroom and hung it up to dry. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he became aware of Sanzo's attention focussed on him with an intensity that was somewhat disturbing. Sanzo's lips were set in a thin line. His eyes were narrowed. His posture was almost rigid. Hakkai wondered at the cause of such seeming hostility. He moved around behind Sanzo, alert for any indication in Sanzo's chi of what might be prompting Sanzo to be so defensive in his body language. Satisfied that his hands were warm, Hakkai laid them on Sanzo's shoulders.

"Try to relax," Hakkai said softly. "The more tension you can let go of, the easier it will be for me to work out the rest."

"Just get on with it."

Trailing his fingertips over the pale skin, Hakkai mapped out the worst knots in Sanzo's muscles. He closed his eyes and pictured the knots, kinks in the smooth flow of Sanzo's chi. Hakkai smoothed the stiff muscles, trying to ease the flow along and make the knots untie themselves. He worked his way up from between Sanzo's shoulderblades along his neck and up into his hair. Oh, that hair. Every strand pure gold, messy and silky and pure heaven to touch.

"Mmm." Sanzo sighed, rolling his head on his neck. "How do your hands stay so soft? You work as hard as Gojyo or Goku, and you hang on to that steering wheel all day."

Hakkai shrugged, his heart pounding with sudden joy. Praise from Sanzo was a rare gift. "It's probably the massage oil." Hakkai's hands might be soft, but another part of him was getting hard. "Would you like me to use some on your back? That might help you sleep better."

Sanzo straightened, sitting quite still. There was a peculiar ripple in his chi. Hakkai didn't know what it meant, but it was surely some kind of clue to Sanzo's sudden change of mood.

"Sanzo?"

"Yes." Sanzo stood up, turned, and looked Hakkai right in the eye. "Yes. Get the oil." With that he stretched out on his bed, lying on his belly and resting his head on the pillow with his arms folded underneath.

Hakkai contemplated Sanzo for a long moment. The priest lay there, naked to the waist, the worn denim of his jeans molded to the muscles of his thighs and ass. In another moment Hakkai would straddle those thighs and begin to work the oil into the muscles girding Sanzo's shoulderblades, spine, and ribs. He'd lean forward, putting his weight behind the motions of his hands. That would make his pelvis tilt forward, bringing his hips up against Sanzo's. A perfectly natural position. If Sanzo enjoyed the massage, as Hakkai was determined to see that he did, his body would respond by arching. The rib cage had nowhere to go, being pressed into the mattress, so the resulting leverage would make Sanzo's hips lift. Bringing them up against Hakkai's hips, against his erection that showed no signs of diminishing.

"Hakkai?"

"Yes, Sanzo. Here it is." Hakkai fetched the bottle of massage oil from his bag. He opened it and poured some onto his left palm, then set the bottle aside on the little table that stood between the beds. He pressed his palms together, concentrating on warming the oil. "White Lotus." Something about the name, or perhaps the image of the flower, had become linked in his mind with Sanzo so strongly no other oil seemed appropriate now. A sudden temptation gripped him, to pour a thick line of oil down Sanzo's spine and work it into his muscles until he lay there gleaming in the light of the oil lamps. Then Sanzo would turn over, and Hakkai might have the pleasure of repeating the process, oiling Sanzo's shoulders and chest and belly and...

"Hakkai? What the hell are you doing?"

"Just warming the oil, Sanzo. You may recall that time you ordered me to make absolutely certain the oil was warm enough before I touch you."

"Hn." Sanzo moved his head on the pillow, settling back down with a sigh.

Hakkai took his place across Sanzo's thighs, then leaned forward and laid his hands on Sanzo's shoulders just at the points where the muscles on each side met his neck. He worked the oil into the muscles, his fingers gliding along Sanzo's skin, following the contour of tendons all too close to the surface. Lean and strong and ruthless... Hakkai closed his eyes and let the rhythm of his hands take over. In his mind he whispered the words he longed to chant in counterpoint to the motions of his hands. I love you...  I love you... I love you...

Sanzo grunted and shifted beneath Hakkai, his ass rising and sliding under Hakkai's hips in a way that made Hakkai bite his tongue, silencing any sound that might betray his desire.

By the time Hakkai reached the small of Sanzo's back, Sanzo's breathing had slowed and deepened. It would be a disappointment if the massage put Sanzo to sleep, but that would bring its own lesser kind of satisfaction. Sanzo had so much trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep that Hakkai would be well enough pleased to help that along. He smoothed both hands down Sanzo's back in one long last sweep from shoulders to hips, then lifted his hands away. He swung his leg over, easing off the mattress so he wouldn't disturb Sanzo.

"Where are you going?" Sanzo turned over onto his back, reaching up to tug the pillow into a better position under his head.

Hakkai paused, still kneeling on the bed. "I thought you'd fallen asleep."

"Not yet." Sanzo lay there, looking up at Hakkai, then glancing away. When he spoke, his voice was oddly soft. "Do the front too?"

"Of course." Hakkai resumed his position sitting across Sanzo's thighs. He poured a generous amount of the oil down the midline of Sanzo's torso, between his pectoral muscles and the hard planes of his washboard belly. "Is there any place in particular that needs attention?"

Again Sanzo held Hakkai's gaze for a moment, then looked away. A faint blush tinted his cheeks. "You know. Just the usual aches and pains."

Hakkai nodded. He touched the fingertips of both hands to the oil and swept it up and out across Sanzo's pectorals to his shoulders. Sanzo tensed slightly, then a long, silent breath escaped him. Hakkai kept his eyes on his hands, watching for the spot that had made Sanzo flinch like that. His hands glided back down, brushing across the hard nubs of Sanzo's nipples. Sanzo's breath caught. Sudden understanding brought a rush of heat sweeping over Hakkai. He leaned forward, reaching for Sanzo's trapezius muscles. Long practice kept his face carefully blank despite the burning awareness of his arousal pressed hard against the front of Sanzo's hips. Sanzo grasped the front of his pajama shirt and pulled him down until they were almost nose to nose.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sanzo asked, his voice both hoarse and breathy.

"Just trying to help you relax." Hakkai willed his body to remain absolutely still in Sanzo's grip. Sanzo had pulled him down so close, close enough to leave no doubt in anyone's mind about the state of Hakkai's arousal. Much to Hakkai's secret delight, there was a corresponding bulge in the front of Sanzo's jeans.

"'Relax'?" Sanzo snorted. "Then why do you keep touching my--" His blush darkened. "My nip—nipples? You might as well just pour oil right on them."

Hakkai smiled, a true smile that pulled up one corner of his mouth and brought light to his eyes. "Is that a request?"

"Suppose it was. What would you say to that?"

Sanzo was being combative as ever, but Hakkai sensed the need he was trying to mask with this show of hostility. Sanzo was no good at asking for attention, care, loving contact. As difficult as it was for Hakkai to voice his own needs, he would have to do the work for both of them. Heart pounding, he took a deep breath, then spoke.

"I'd say I'd be more than happy to pour oil all over any part of your body that pleases you." Hakkai moved his hips in a slow, gentle circle and lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "Just tell me what you want."

Sanzo clenched his eyes shut. His hips moved, answering Hakkai's pressure with his own. "I want..." He licked his lips. The sight of that wet tongue slicking those soft lips made Hakkai's blood burn with yearning.

"Tell me," Hakkai murmured. He dipped his fingertips into the oil, then touched the tip of each forefinger to Sanzo's nipples, drawing slow circles around the hard little nubs.

Sanzo's breath hissed out between his teeth. "Hakkai..." Those exquisite amethyst eyes opened. "More."

Hakkai rolled Sanzo's nipples between his fingers. Sanzo groaned, his eyelids fluttering closed even as his hips lifted again, rocking beneath Hakkai's. Sanzo let go of the front of Hakkai's shirt and freed the buttons, then pushed the blue cotton cloth off of Hakkai's shoulders. Hakkai let the shirt slide down his arms then tossed it over onto his bed. He held the snap of Sanzo's jeans between finger and thumb. Another twinge in Sanzo's chi warned Hakkai of Sanzo's rising anxiety. Hakkai laid his free hand on Sanzo's belly, moving it in slow, gentle circles, hoping to reassure Sanzo with the warmth and the caress.

"Please, Sanzo-sama," Hakkai murmured. "Will you let me finish undressing you?"

Confirmation that all control still lay in Sanzo's hands made Sanzo settle back under Hakkai's touch. Sanzo gave one shaky nod of his head, then flung his forearm across his eyes. Hakkai unsnapped Sanzo's jeans and eased the zipper down, both startled and pleased to discover Sanzo wore nothing under his jeans. As Hakkai gently freed the hard length contained within the snug denim, he couldn't help but congratulate himself on discovering some of his other daydreams about Sanzo were accurate. Fair skin flushed a deep rose, velvety over the iron hard column of Sanzo's cock, the faint blue tracery of veins, and the nest of curls so dark a gold they seemed more like bronze...

"Hakkai?" Sanzo's voice, shaky, anxious.

"You are so lovely, Sanzo. Every single inch of you. Perfection itself."

"Don't bullshit me, Hakkai. You've seen my scars."

Hakkai eased the jeans down off Sanzo's slim, muscular legs and tossed them aside near the foot of the bed. He stood for a moment to remove his pajama pants, then lay down next to Sanzo, chest to chest and thigh against thigh. The sensation of bare skin warm and smooth against bare skin left both men moaning. Hakkai lay there, staring down into those fathomless purple eyes, gently moving the inside of his thigh against the heat of Sanzo's cock.

"You've been through the fire, Sanzo. Time and time again. It has burned the impurities out of you, leaving you strong and clean and golden."

Sanzo let his arm fall by his side, revealing amethyst eyes wide with both wonder and wariness. He scowled. "I'm just a man."

"Well then." Hakkai poured more oil across Sanzo's belly. He trailed his fingertips through it, moving down along Sanzo's hipbone to his thigh. "If you don't like my way with words, perhaps I should just let my hands speak for me."

His oil-slick fingers curled around Sanzo's cock, sliding up from base to tip and back down again. Sanzo groaned, hips bucking against Hakkai's warm, slippery grasp. He reached up with both hands to seize Hakkai's shoulders and pull him down for a long, hot kiss. Their tongues met and mingled, Hakkai's teasing and tasting, Sanzo's almost frantic with need. When Sanzo finally broke away, he was panting.

"You say you love me."

"Yes, Sanzo." Hakkai kissed Sanzo's collarbone, following the line of it with the tip of his tongue. "I love you."

Sanzo moaned, head back, eyes closed. "Show me."

Hakkai smiled, a real smile full of tenderness. He moved closer, leaning over Sanzo, pressing their bodies together. Sanzo could seem so cold, so remote, but at that moment he was burning, his skin hot and his eyes blazing like flawless matched amethysts set in the ivory perfection of his face. Hakkai placed a light kiss on Sanzo's temple, on his cheekbone, then on his sweet, kiss-bruised lips.

"Sanzo-sama, my love, my lord..." Another kiss, just beneath the point of Sanzo's jaw. "What more could I ask for, than permission to make love to you..."

Sanzo stared up at Hakkai, cheeks flushed, chest heaving with the effort of drawing breath. Hakkai slid one knee between Sanzo's, urging his thighs apart. Sanzo drew his knees up, granting Hakkai room to settle his own slim figure down against Sanzo's lean form. Their erections brushed against each other, satiny skin meeting satiny skin. Hakkai poured more oil onto his palm then grasped both erections, moving his hand up and down in a lazy pumping motion.

"Hakkai!" Sanzo cried. "Oh fuck... Oh, that feels so good..."

Hakkai gathered Sanzo into his arms and kissed him, his tongue gliding along the full curve of Sanzo's lower lip before plunging inside to capture Sanzo's tongue and suck it into his own mouth. Sanzo's arms closed around Hakkai, one hand buried in his dark hair, the other clasping one firm buttock as he ground his hips against Hakkai's in a silent plea for more. Now Hakkai groaned, tilting his head to continue his delicious assault on Sanzo's mouth.

Sanzo wound his legs around Hakkai's, seeking the pressure and rhythm that would end his heavenly torment. Hakkai broke the kiss to sit back on his knees and plant both hands on Sanzo's hips, holding him still.

"What are you waiting for?" Sanzo cried. "Take me, dammit! I'm dying here!"

"Sanzo." Hakkai laid his hand against Sanzo's flushed cheek. "This isn't about just getting off so you can sleep."

"Whatever! Just--"

"You said show me. I will show you, Sanzo, but love takes time. Give me that time. I promise you'll be glad you did."

With a hiss of frustration Sanzo fell back against the pillows.

Hakkai pressed light kisses up and down the rigid column of Sanzo's cock. He marveled at the softness of the skin that surrounded the hardness within. Each kiss drew a sigh, a breath, a moan from Sanzo. Hakkai swept his tongue in one long lick from base to tip, making Sanzo's back arch and that lovely face contort in ecstatic torment. Savoring the passionate fury burning him up from within, Hakkai kept licking Sanzo's length up and down until it was slippery enough to slide in and out of his mouth with the slightest bobbing motion of his head.

"Bastard," Sanzo growled. "You're torturing me and you love it."

"Should I stop?"

"Stop now and I'll kill you."

Hakkai chuckled, letting the vibration of his laughter move through his lips to Sanzo's cock. Sanzo sucked in a sharp breath. Those beautiful amethyst eyes fluttered closed. Hakkai kept humming, kept working Sanzo's cock in and out of his mouth, now and then letting just the very edge of his teeth scrape lightly along the more sensitive spots.

Sanzo let out an agonized groan, his head thrashing back and forth on the pillow.

"Oh gods. I can't stand it!" He reached down to bury his fingers in Hakkai's thick dark hair. "Finish me, you evil prick. Finish me!"

To hear Sanzo himself begging for more... The sound of that harsh, hoarse voice went straight to Hakkai's cock, making it throb, aching for its own release. An almost steady stream of precum left Hakkai's thighs streaked with the proof of his maddening desire. Hakkai slicked his middle finger with more oil, then gently pressed it against the ring of muscle that would allow him access to the hot, tight depths of Sanzo's body.

Sanzo's thighs opened even farther. "Yes... Yes..."

Hakkai rested his head on Sanzo's belly, keeping Sanzo's cock in his mouth while he eased that finger deeper inside. His free hand circled his own cock, gripping it loosely while he slicked it with more of the oil. The sensation was pure heaven, making him moan against Sanzo's cock. Sanzo's hips bucked, making Sanzo impale himself farther on Hakkai's long slim finger. Hakkai turned his wrist, searching, stroking--

Sanzo let out a harsh cry, flinging out his free arm and gripping the sheets so hard Hakkai expected to hear the sound of fabric tearing. He smiled to himself, teasing the head of Sanzo's cock, thrusting the tip of his tongue into the slit over and over again while he rubbed Sanzo's sweet spot. Sanzo's fingers in his hair tightened to a painful degree. Hakkai welcomed it, welcomed the pressure that showed him the rhythm Sanzo craved. He rose up to take more of Sanzo's cock into his mouth, clasping it around the base to stroke it while he sucked on the shaft and eased a second finger into Sanzo.

Sanzo groaned, grasping Hakkai's shoulder, his nails biting into Hakkai's skin. His hips worked madly. Sweat gleamed on his skin. Hakkai watched the lean muscles writhe beneath the pale skin as the fury of the oncoming orgasm gathered within Sanzo's body.

All at once Sanzo stiffened. His eyes opened wide. Out of his mouth came a long, low moan, shaped into one word. "Hakkai..."

Sanzo's cock throbbed in Hakkai's grasp as the first hot gush poured across his tongue. Sanzo's muscles clamped down around Hakkai's fingers, prompting an answering groan from Hakkai. The sound of his name on Sanzo's lips had nearly pushed him over the edge. Once he did take Sanzo, he wouldn't last very long, but every second would be pure rapture.

Sanzo's hips jerked. One more hard jet of come struck the roof of Hakkai's mouth. He swallowed it all, sucking hard for the last few drops. Hakkai gave Sanzo's cock one last kiss, then wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He moved to kneel between Sanzo's open thighs. Sanzo reached one shaking hand to curl those exquisite fingers around Hakkai's length. Hakkai shuddered, hips thrusting against Sanzo's grip.

"Mmmmmm." Sanzo licked his lips. "Give it to me, Green Eyes." Sanzo's fingers glided down to cup Hakkai's balls. "All of it."

Sanzo lay back against the pillow. As much as Hakkai was dying to bury himself inside Sanzo, he lingered a moment, looking down at the naked, gleaming figure. Sanzo lying there offering himself, begging to be taken, to be fucked hard.

"I love you."

The words hung in the air between them, spoken so softly Hakkai touched his lips, not really sure if he'd said them aloud.

Sanzo's look of sexy, sultry need changed. Those captivating purple eyes widened. The smirk faded, his lips parting, chin lifting as if asking for a kiss. Suddenly Hakkai could see the boy Sanzo must have been, young Kouryuu, back in the days before tragedy wrecked his world and crippled his heart. Hakkai felt the burn of tears behind his eyes. Sanzo had never looked more beautiful to him. With a rush of love and tenderness flooding his small, shriveled heart like water poured across parched sands, Hakkai settled himself against Sanzo and kissed him, a sweet gentle kiss meant to soothe Sanzo's natural defensiveness even as Hakkai pressed the head of his cock against Sanzo's entrance.

"Deep breath," Hakkai murmured.

For once, Sanzo obeyed.

"Let it out. Let it all go."

Sanzo released his breath in a long sigh that flowed over Hakkai's shoulder with pleasing warmth. Hakkai slid his hands up under Sanzo's shoulders, seeking the best leverage, and brought his hips forward. As he sank into Sanzo, Sanzo's eyes clenched shut, his fingers tightening on Hakkai's biceps.

"Easy," Hakkai murmured, nuzzling Sanzo's throat. "I am your healer, Sanzo-sama. The one who makes you feel better."

Sanzo's grip eased. Hakkai sank in deeper, moaning against Sanzo's skin.

"Every dream I've had of you is nothing to this moment..."

"You...dream...about me?"

"All the time."

"How—how long?"

Hakkai smiled, lifting his head to look down into Sanzo's wondering eyes. "I can't remember a time when I didn't love you. Even when you stood there glaring down at me, ready to shoot me then and there. Even so, you were my savior, come to deliver me from the agony of my life."

Sanzo buried his face against Hakkai's shoulder and brought his legs up to circle Hakkai's narrow waist. That left Hakkai sliding farther into Sanzo, at an angle that made both of them groan aloud. Hakkai rocked against Sanzo, his muscles straining against the self-control that was rapidly giving way before the wild desire to do exactly as Sanzo asked and give him all of it, fast and hard and deep. Hakkai pulled back a bit more than halfway, then sank in again. And again. And again. Sanzo held him tight, murmuring against his neck. Hakkai shifted his weight, seeking to brace himself better, and Sanzo cried out, throwing his head back. Hakkai thrust again, striking the same spot.

"More!" Sanzo was panting now, one hand on his dripping cock. "Come on, Hakkai. Fuck me! Fuck me!"

Never had Sanzo given him an order he obeyed with greater delight. Hakkai put his back into it, pounding Sanzo into the mattress, making him groan and thrash and sink his teeth into Hakkai's shoulder. Hakkai wrapped his arms around Sanzo, pressing their bodies together. The sweat running down both their chests and the silvery pearls leaking from the head of Sanzo's newly hardened cock left both their bellies slick enough to make his cock slide easily between them, giving Sanzo the friction he needed without Hakkai lending a hand.

"Ready, Sanzo?"

"Yes! Oh gods, I'm so close..."

Hakkai closed his eyes and buried his face against the sweat dampened golden silk of Sanzo's hair. He quickened his pace, thrusting hard, his aim perfect. Sanzo's back arched as he let out a howl. Hakkai tightened his grip, keeping their bodies molded together around Sanzo's throbbing cock. Sanzo's hands slid down Hakkai's slick back to grab hold of his ass and try to pull him in even deeper. Hakkai let out a shout just as Sanzo's mouth mashed against his. Their cries of fulfillment mingled as Sanzo's come burst hot and thick over Hakkai's chest and the pulsations of Sanzo's climax sucked Hakkai's cock dry.

They lay there gasping in a sweaty, sticky tangle until Sanzo turned his head to press a kiss to Hakkai's temple.

"Let me up. I need a smoke."

"Oh, Sanzo." Hakkai couldn't keep all of the disapproval out of his voice.

"Love me the way I am, Hakkai." Sanzo gave him a playful slap on the ass. "Now let me up before I get out my harisen."

"I knew you had a kinky streak." Hakkai moved to the side.

Sanzo fumbled in the sleeve of his robes for his cigarettes and lighter. He lit up, took a long drag, then blew a string of perfect smoke rings. "Me?" He poured himself a drink from the bottle of sake on the table, then brought another full cup to Hakkai who accepted it with a fond smile. "I have a very strong suspicion about that smile of yours. While you're driving all day, the gods only know what kind of bizarre fantasies you create to amuse yourself."

Hakkai blushed. "Why Sanzo, you don't really think--"

"Spare me." Sanzo drank his sake, then gave Hakkai a rare smile. "You don't want to disappoint me, now do you, Hakkai?"

Hakkai returned Sanzo's smile with something even more rare, a burst of his own laughter.

The next day's ride in the Jeep was pure torture for Sanzo. Yes, he was feeling more relaxed and his general outlook was a bit less negative. Still, his ass hurt and he'd pulled a few muscles that didn't often see the kind of action Hakkai demanded. The cure for such aches was more of the same. Now that Sanzo had allowed his hungers to surface, they wanted to make up for lost time. By the mercy of Heaven, they were passing through a more heavily populated area, so they found more towns grouped more closely together. As the sun neared the western horizon, Hakkai turned to Sanzo.

"What shall we do, Sanzo? The weather is clear and it should be a fairly warm night. We could keep driving awhile then camp out."

"After a day of jolting around in this tin can I sure as hell don't want to crash for the night in nothing but a sleeping bag spread out over rocks."

"Oooh," Gojyo said. "Does that mean Sanzo-sama sleeps naked?"

Without even thinking about it, Sanzo pulled out the harisen and smacked Gojyo across the side of the head. "Shut up, cockroach. Nobody asked for your comments."

Now the image of Hakkai naked filled Sanzo's imagination, the thought of his own thigh sliding back and forth between Hakkai's, smooth skin and hard muscle and that heat that flared between them, making him ache...

"Sanzo? Are you all right?"

Sanzo blinked, then focussed on Hakkai. "I'm fine. What's the problem?"

"I asked you what kind of inn you might prefer."

"Hot baths, no fleas, and an all male serving staff so the ero kappa stays out of trouble."

"Sanzo!" Gojyo put on a melodramatic expression of horror. "You wound me! It's not my fault that maid had a twin sister who was engaged to the mayor's son!"

"If you get us thrown out of another inn I'll do more than just wound you! I'll put so much lead in your dick you'll never get it up again!"

"Oi, you're the monk here! I'm a hot-blooded young man in the prime of life! I have needs!"

Sanzo turned to jam the muzzle of his pistol up under Goyjo's jaw. "You're going to need a new head if you fuck up like that again, you stupid fucking kappa! The last thing we need is an angry mob of humans chasing us!"

Goyjo swallowed carefully against the pressure of the pistol. "All right, all right. I'll go find some nice little bar where they've got a card game going and maybe even a room or two for rent in the back."

"'Ch." Sanzo tucked the pistol away in his sleeve. "You can't go even one night without molesting some poor girl, can you?"

Hakkai coughed, giving Sanzo a look that brought the blood to his cheeks, a look that chided him for mocking Gojyo when Sanzo himself had turned out to be rather voracious in the matter of getting his needs met. How Hakkai managed to nag him with just a look puzzled Sanzo, along with irritating the hell out of him.

Hakkai pulled the Jeep up behind a likely-looking inn. After the usual squabbling over rooms, a few good whacks with the fan, and some mediating by Hakkai, Sanzo handed out the room keys. Two for him and Hakkai for their room, and two for the unwilling roommates Gojyo and Goku. Hakkai hefted his bag and Sanzo's and started up the stairs. Sanzo watched him go, savoring the play of his thigh muscles and the flexing of his neat, tight ass.

A long arm landed around his shoulder. "Oi, monk! You look like somebody just offered you enlightenment on a platter!"

Sanzo tried to shove the arm away, but it tightened around his shoulder, pulling him close to Gojyo's chest. Gojyo's booming laugh made it seem like a joking embrace. Then Gojyo's voice dropped to a flat whisper.

"Take good care of Hakkai, Sanzo."

Sanzo waited, expecting the predictable threat, but it didn't come. Gojyo just stood there, glaring down at him over the glowing end of his ever-present cigarette.

"Whatever happens, just don't hurt him. He's had more than enough pain for this life."

Feeling awkward and uncomfortable at the sudden depth of the conversation, Sanzo just nodded. "Keep the monkey from eating everything in the kitchen before dinner. I want a bath first."

"Aw, man! Why am I always stuck with being monkey wrangler?"

Sanzo shot Gojyo a look that made him throw up his hands and back away.

"Right, right," Gojyo said. "No offense, O Great and Holy Sanzo Houshi-sama, who went up the mountain and freed the monster trapped there for five hundred years." As Sanzo turned away and started up the stairs, Gojyo muttered, "Way to go, monk. You should have asked why they put the noisy little bastard there in the first place."

Up in their room, Sanzo found Hakkai closing a dresser drawer on the last of his unpacking. He had clean clothes laid out, along with a set of towels. Another set sat on the foot of Sanzo's bed.

"A serious scrubbing then a nice long soak sounds good to me," Hakkai said. "What do you think, Sanzo?"

Sanzo rolled up the sutra and located a loose floorboard that offered a good place for concealment. Then he took off his breastplate and robes and carefully folded them up, placing them on top of the dresser. This brought him within arm's reach of Hakkai.

"What do I think?" Sanzo touched the pad of his forefinger to Hakkai's lower lip. The tip of Hakkai's tongue appeared between his lips, sliding out to caress Sanzo's finger. All at once the fires inside Sanzo ignited, blazing up into an inferno. Sanzo seized Hakkai by the arms and shoved him up against the closest wall, pressing his body hard against Hakkai's.

"What do I think?" Sanzo repeated. "I think I want you." Sanzo captured Hakkai's lips, kissing him hard, his tongue plunging in and out. When he finally let Hakkai come up for hair, Hakkai was flushed pink and panting. Sanzo trailed kisses back to Hakkai's ear. "I want to fuck you until you come so hard it turns you inside out."

Hakkai's hips shifted, sliding the growing bulge in his pants against the solid strength of Sanzo's cock. "But—Sanzo, I need a bath. I'm afraid I'm rather dusty from the drive."

""To hell with that." Sanzo nuzzled his neck, inhaling sweat and salt and that earthy scent that was Hakkai's alone. "We'll just need another bath when we're done."

"Well, yes, but won't this be much more pleasant if I'm clean?"

"You keep saying you're my slave, and yet you're so contrary." Sanzo licked a path up behind Hakkai's left ear. He nipped at the lobe, careful to avoid the power limiters. Temptation struck him, hot and vivid and irresistible. "Like I said before, show me."

Something in Hakkai's expression changed. Gone was the mild, polite peacekeeper. A darker aspect of Hakkai stared out at Sanzo, those green eyes half-lidded and a wicked smile curling those swollen lips. Hakkai planted both hands on Sanzo's hips and pushed him back two steps, then sank to his knees, hands clasped before him and head bowed.

"Forgive me, Master."

A wave of pure lust broke over Sanzo, making his heart pound and his cock so hard it hurt. "That's better." He petted Hakkai's dark hair. "But you're still dressed." He touched Hakkai's chin and made him look up. "Take off your clothes. I want to see my pretty slave boy naked."

Hakkai's blush darkened. He leaned forward to press his cheek against the front of Sanzo's jeans and rub back and forth. Sanzo sucked in his breath, grabbing Hakkai's shoulders to brace himself against the sudden dizzying rush of sensation. Hakkai rose and pulled off his headband, then his sash. He laid both on the foot of his bed, then set his monocle on top. A few moments' work with the clasps on his tunic let him pull that off over his head, followed by the plain shirt he wore underneath. He kicked off his boots, removed his socks, then pushed down his pants and boxers in the same motion. He folded his clothing into a neat pile, then hurried back over to Sanzo and started to kneel down again. Sanzo gripped Hakkai's biceps and kept him upright.

"Don't move." Sanzo walked over to the bundle of his robes and pulled his obi out, then carried it into the bathroom they shared. He put the stopper in the sink, filled the sink with water, then dropped his obi in to soak. He came back to stand before Hakkai and held out his arms. "Now. Undress me."

Hakkai peeled off Sanzo's black leather arm warmers. He set them aside, then wrapped his arms around Sanzo's waist and slid his hands up under the sleeveless leather shirt Sanzo wore, caressing his back and pushing the fabric up over Sanzo's head. Sanzo freed his arms and cast the garment aside. Bare chest met bare chest. Sanzo kissed Hakkai, both hands gliding down Hakkai's back to seize his naked ass and knead it. Hakkai moaned into Sanzo's mouth, hands tugging urgently at the waistband of his jeans. Sanzo relented, easing back just enough to allow Hakkai to push the denim down to his knees. Sanzo kicked out of his jeans and held Hakkai's hips against his own, grinding their cocks together as he devoured Hakkai's mouth in another passionate kiss.

"Lay down," Sanzo commanded. Hakkai obeyed, stretching out on one of the beds. "Hands above your head."

Sanzo hurried into the bathroom to lift the soaking wet obi out of the water. He wrung it out, then set it on the little table beside the bed. From his traveling bag he fetched a phial of oil that carried the rich scents of autumn, dry leaves and warm fires and deep, ancient woods. What he had in mind was stirring him up to such a fever pitch he had to force himself to slow down and observe all the proper preparations. This was going to be enough of a shock to Hakkai. Best to make sure they were both ready for it.

Sanzo set the phial of oil on the little table and picked up the obi. "You're still too independent-minded for a proper slave boy. I think a little training in obedience might cure that."

Hakkai gripped the bottom crossbar of the iron headboard and stretching his legs, putting on such an eager, enticing display Sanzo wanted to shove his legs apart and fuck him then and there. Sanzo wound precise loops around Hakkai's wrists and anchored them to the plain iron headboard, taking care to position the quick release slipknot so no lucky twists by Hakkai would let him grab it and get loose at the wrong moment.

Sanzo sat across Hakkai's thighs, staring down at the pale beauty of Hakkai's skin. Even such glaring disfigurements as the eye and the scar couldn't ruin such ethereal beauty. Sanzo touched his fingertips to Hakkai's shoulders and drew them slowly down Hakkai's chest, stroking his skin with a feather-light touch. Hakkai sighed, letting his head fall back against the pillows. One corner of Sanzo's mouth quirked. Just as he touched the stiff buds of Hakkai's nipples, he gave each a sharp pinch. Hakkai groaned. A flush swept up across his chest to his neck, rising to stain his cheeks.

Sanzo reached over to pick up the phial of oil and free the stopper. He poured a palmful of the oil into his hand and stroked his cock from the balls to the tip and back again. His head fell back, hips thrusting into his own grip. He had to force himself to let go before he got too caught up in the surge of pleasure. Hakkai lay there, flushed and panting, his dark hair falling into his green eyes. He stared at Sanzo's cock and licked his lips.

"Hakkai..."

Sanzo moved back just enough to pull Hakkai's thighs up around his waist. Hakkai drew his knees up, leaving himself open and exposed, his cock throbbing. Sanzo stroked his own cock with one hand and Hakkai's with the other. Both men moaned, the soft sounds of pleasure mingling in the musky air. Sanzo laid himself down on Hakkai, sliding his hands under Hakkai's shoulders and grinding their cocks together. Hakkai cried out, staring up at Sanzo with a look of naked hunger. Sanzo took his mouth in a hard kiss. They went on grinding against each other, bodies slick with sweat, bellies smeared with the precum leaking from each other's cock.

"Master, please..." Hakkai gasped against Sanzo's lips.

"That's right. Beg for it." Sanzo trailed soft biting kisses down along his jawline and the smooth skin of his throat.. "Show me just how desperate you really are for what only I can give you."

"Master," Hakkai cried. "Please! Save me! Save me from the agony of being so lost, so empty without you inside me."

"Very good." Sanzo reached for the oil again. Much to Hakkai's puzzlement, Sanzo slicked his own fingers and reached back to prepare himself. It was awkward but rewarding, thrusting deep enough to strike the spot that sent hot streaks of pleasure racing through him. When he was ready, Sanzo settled himself across Hakkai's hips and eased himself down onto Hakkai's cock. Hakkai gasped, breathing in harsh, uneven pants. At last Sanzo took Hakkai all the way. He stared down at Hakkai with eyes clouded by intense pleasure.

"Now, slave boy, fuck me. Fuck me hard."

Hakkai's hands clenched around the bottom pole of the iron headboard. His hips bucked upward, driving his cock into Sanzo. Sanzo cursed, hands clamped on Hakkai's shoulders to keep his balance as the hips beneath him went wild, bucking and thrusting and pounding away at him. Sanzo could have lost himself in the heady rush of rising ecstasy. And yet, some part of him still wanted more.

Hakkai had braced his feet against the mattress to give himself even more leverage to thrust into Sanzo. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back. Sanzo gazed down upon the rapturous form, then bent to add to Hakkai's distraction by swirling his tongue around the tip of one hard nipple. Hakkai moaned, heaving beneath him. Sanzo seized the moment, and with it Hakkai's limiters.

"Sanzo!" Those green eyes snapped open, all rapture gone as Hakkai stared up at him in wild dismay. "Oh Kami-sama! No!"

Sanzo had just enough time to set the limiters on the bedside table before Hakkai started to thrash against his bonds as the change swept over him. The wet silk held, even against the strength of a distraught youkai. Now it was Sanzo's turn to let out a wild cry. Hakkai in human form was well-endowed. As a youkai he was positively enormous. Sanzo writhed in a twisted mixture of pleasure and anguish as his body tried to adjust to the suddenly much larger intrusion now impaling him. Dragging in breath after breath, Sanzo tried to soothe his body's instinctive reaction to tense up. As soon as the change was complete, Hakkai settled down again to complete stillness. Sanzo still gripped Hakkai's shoulders. He sat there, head down, gathering his strength.

"Look at me, Sanzo." Hakkai's voice, so much darker and harsher than it had been. "You wanted to see my youkai form? Here I am. Now look at me."

Sanzo found himself obeying, raising his head to look down at the reality of Hakkai in his true form. Of a height with Gojyo, more muscle, his short dark hair now hanging long and shaggy across his shoulders. The vines that wound around Hakkai's body, each leaf representing a life he'd taken. Those eyes, deep wells of emerald light, staring up at Sanzo with defiance and scorn and something more...

"Happy now?"

"Not—quite," Sanzo panted. "But I'm sure—I—will be."

"Your gun is well out of reach. So is the sutra. You're putting a lot of faith in one thin piece of damp silk."

Sanzo mustered all of his self-discipline and leaned down to smile straight into those entrancing green eyes. "You won't raise a hand against me, Cho Hakkai. Human or youkai, you belong to me."

Hakkai returned the smile with interest, giving Sanzo a grin that bared Hakkai's fangs. "Yes, Master. What was that last command? Oh yes. Fuck you hard."

A contest of strength would have been close enough, but this was a contest of wills. Sanzo held on with knees and thighs and hands, keeping a steady grip on Hakkai no matter how hard he slammed his hips up against Sanzo. Holding his side of the stare down left Sanzo unprepared for the moment when Hakkai found just the right angle and struck Sanzo's prostate with a force it had never before received. A cry tore itself from Sanzo's throat. The relentless pounding sent him hurtling up into a new plane of feeling, an experience so intense he wasn't sure his spirit was still anchored to his body. A moment's clearer consciousness showed him the vines that wound around Hakkai's body now snaking up his own forearms, binding him to Hakkai even as Sanzo had bound Hakkai to the headboard.

"What will it be, Sanzo?" Hakkai growled. "Do you really want to play last man standing? Or shall we call a truce and take this where we'd both be best pleased?"

"You're an arrogant fuck when you're like this, aren't you?"

Hakkai bared his fangs in another insolent grin. "I learned from the best, Sanzo-sama."

Steeling himself for the effort, Sanzo regained dominance of their movements, working his hips in circles, up around and down, up around and down, until he witnessed the gratifying sight of Hakkai's green eyes rolling back in his head. Drenched with sweat, his balls tightening up as the heat low in his belly threatened to shoot straight up his spine, Sanzo knew he was heartbeats away from coming. He bent to claim Hakkai's mouth in a fierce kiss. Hakkai came back from his own pleasure trance to pillage Sanzo's mouth with his long youkai tongue. Fucked hard and deep at both ends, Sanzo surrendered to the power of Hakkai's strength and passion. The frenzy of their bodies moving together applied the perfect friction to Sanzo's cock, triggering the most powerful climax he'd ever known. Conquered at last, the fury of it left Sanzo sprawled across Hakkai's chest.

Moving with his usual lithe agility, Hakkai locked his legs with Sanzo's and rolled them over. Even with his hands bound, he still managed to work his knees up under Sanzo's thighs, keeping himself buried inside Sanzo.

"Wake up, 'master,'" Hakkai snapped. "We're not done yet."

Sanzo forced back the waves of lassitude trying to swallow him. He opened his eyes. Hakkai stared down at him, his expression almost solemn.

"Hold on to me, Sanzo. Give me what I gave you. That's only fair."

Sanzo slid his hands up Hakkai's bare chest, over his shoulders and around his neck. He buried both hands in the long silken strands of Hakkai's dark hair, returning his kiss as Hakkai began to move inside him again. Two or three thrusts brought Hakkai back on target again, making Sanzo's cock turn rock hard as the monk groaned into the youkai's mouth. The fury began to build between them again. Hakkai tore his mouth from Sanzo's to bite his shoulder, lapping at the blood. Marked, owned, possessed, Sanzo welcomed the pain that spiked his pleasure and sent him whirling upward into that new height of rapture. Hakkai's voice joined his, groaning, shouting, then dying away as the climax raged through both of them and left them lying senseless in each other's arms.

Sanzo woke first. He scooped up Hakkai's limiters from their place on the bedside table, then carefully fitted them onto the outer curve of Hakkai's left ear. The change back to his human form roused him. Sanzo reached up to pull the slipknot and unwound the silk from around Hakkai's wrists. Hakkai rolled off Sanzo, putting his back to Sanzo and curling up into a tight ball. Sanzo sat up, taking a moment to let the room stop wobbling around him. He pulled on his jeans and fished his cigarettes and lighter out of one of his robe's sleeves. Lounging in the armchair by the room's little table, Sanzo smoked and let the moments of the last hour or so play back through his mind.

Hakkai's shoulders hitched. He covered his face with both hands.

Sanzo found himself studying the way Hakkai's dark hair fell across the pillow, the contrast of its brown waves stark against the white cotton. Hakkai rolled over onto his back. Sanzo could see the red marks scattered across Hakkai's neck and shoulders. Some of them would surely darken by morning. Hakkai swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. His face was flushed and his cheeks were wet. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

"If you'll excuse me, Sanzo-sama, I'm going to take my bath now." He looked down at his chest, bruised and scratched and even bloodied here and there. "I think I may never have needed a bath more than I do right now."

Sanzo studied Hakkai. "Something wrong?"

Hakkai flashed him a glare. "Is that a serious question?"

Hakkai's hostility startled Sanzo. "Have you ever known me to ask a question that wasn't serious?"

"No." Hakkai rubbed one hand over his face. "I'm afraid I'm really not up to having this discussion right now."

"Regrets, Hakkai? It's a little late for that."

Hakkai stared at Sanzo for a long moment. The anger on the green-eyed youkai's face faded into sorrow. "Yes, Sanzo. It's too late now, for so many things."

Hakkai's disappointment vexed Sanzo even more than his hostility. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Hakkai rooted in his pack for his toothbrush, his razor, and the little brush he used for scrubbing his nails. "Perhaps you should meditate on that between now and dinner." He gathered up his clean clothes and one set of towels.

"Hakkai—" Sanzo stood up and blocked Hakkai's path to the door. "You're not leaving this room until you tell me why you're in such a rotten mood now."

"From now on I'll be rooming with Gojyo." Hakkai spoke as if he hadn't heard Sanzo. "I really think that would be for the best."

"Answer me, goddammit!" Sanzo made a helpless gesture. "You know I don't have any practice at this stuff. Just tell me and let's deal with it."

"You took my limiters off without so much as mentioning the idea to me, Sanzo. To say nothing of the apparently unheard-of concept of asking my permission."

"Since when do I need your permission for anything I do?"

"Because you used me!" Hakkai's voice, normally so mild, rattled the glass in the window. "You tied me up, binding me in the strongest way you know short of using the sutra on me. Then you forced the change on me, something you know causes me extreme physical and emotional pain!"

Hakkai flung his armful off belongings across his bed and clapped his hands together. Sanzo lunged to the side, his hand closing around the pistol where it lay on the table. Instead of the chi attack Sanzo expected, Hakkai clenched his hands together so tightly they shook, the knuckles white between his blood-darkened fingers.

"You did to me one of the worst things that can be done," Hakkai growled, "and for what? Nothing more than your own petty sexual gratification!"

Two strides taken with a youkai's speed brought Hakkai right in front of Sanzo. Those clenched hands shot out to seize Sanzo by his shoulders and shake him.

"I love you, you bastard!" Hakkai cried. "I love you, and you still did that to me!"

Hakkai flung Sanzo back into his chair, then stuffed his scattered belongings into his pack and strode to the door. Sanzo rose, gathering his composure around him like a stormfront.

"Hakkai, get back in here and shut that door. We're not done talking about this."

"We most certainly are, Sanzo."

Before the door could shut behind him, Sanzo fired one last verbal round.

"You keep telling me you love me. If you really loved me, you'd stay here and try to work this out!"

The door swung back. Hakkai turned to face Sanzo. The look in the youkai's green eyes made Sanzo fall back a step and tighten his grip on his pistol.

"It is precisely because I love you," Hakkai rasped, "that you're still alive." Hakkai glared straight into Sanzo's eyes. "You left my legs free, Sanzo. I could have crushed your ribs like eggshells. I could have torn your throat out with my fangs every time you got close enough to kiss me." He blinked back the sudden wetness gleaming in his eyes. "Even after what you just did to me, you're still alive. If that doesn't prove to you that I 'really' love you, you're a complete and utter fool."

Hakkai turned and stalked off down the hallway, leaving Sanzo staring after him.

At dinner that night, Gojyo knew something was wrong. Goku was his usual self, jabbering away a mile a minute when his mouth wasn't so full he might choke. Sanzo sat there sipping at his tea, pushing his rice around on his plate with his chopsticks. Now and then he'd pull out his harisen and whack Goku, but the fact that the brat didn't even yelp told Gojyo how little effort Sanzo was putting into it. When those pretty purple eyes turned toward Hakkai, Sanzo frowned a bit harder and stabbed at his rice like it did something to offend him.

As for Hakkai, whatever had happened, it had happened to him. That knowledge made Gojyo's fists clench. He tried to stay casual, slouched in his seat drinking his beer while he watched Sanzo watching Hakkai. Gojyo knew he wasn't anywhere near as smart as either of them, but he did know a lot more about some things than either of them ever would. Gojyo knew about sex and relationships and how they could go wrong. Sanzo and Hakkai had been rooming together lately, and both of them were looking more rested and refreshed. Gojyo would bet his next three poker pots they were screwing each other. He didn't mind so much, as long as it made Hakkai happy. Right then Hakkai looked even worse than he did on rainy nights.

Hakkai sat there, head down, left hand rising now and then to tug at his earlobe. He didn't touch his food aside from feeding tidbits to his flying rat. His clothes were tidy as usual, his hair and skin and teeth and fingernails bright from vigorous scrubbing. When Hakkai reached for the pot of tea to fill his cup again, his hand was shaking.

"Hey, Hakkai!" Gojyo bounced up and down in his seat. "You want those dumplings?"

"No, Goku." Hakkai pushed his plate toward Goku. "Be my guest."

Goku cocked his head, studying Hakkai. "You OK? You don't look so good."

Hakkai raised his head. Gojyo watched him try to force his mouth into its usual bland smile. He couldn't quite manage it.

"I'm just tired, Goku. That's all." Hakkai wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his chair back. "I think I'll read a bit." He looked over at Gojyo. "Perhaps you could finish your evening's entertainment before you come back, Gojyo? I'd really appreciate being able to sleep through the night."

The brittle quality to Hakkai's voice and the fact that he felt the need to come right out and ask Gojyo to be quiet made Gojyo even more sure that something was very wrong. They'd been roommates for years. They knew how to respect each other's habits and needs. Then it hit him. Hakkai wasn't talking to him. He was sending some kind of message to Sanzo. Gojyo waited to see what Sanzo would do. After a few more minutes of sulking and abusing his rice, Sanzo shoved back from the table.

"I'm going outside for a smoke."

Gojyo finished his beer, then stood up. "Hey, monkey boy. I hear they've got some special kind of dessert in the kitchen, but it's only for the really important guests."

"So?"

"Well, you're traveling with Sanzo, aren't you? That has to make you pretty important."

"Yeah!" Goku gobbled down his dinner even faster. "I'll go check it out!"

"You do that." Gojyo smiled and sauntered off in the direction Sanzo had taken. Now that the monkey had something to keep him busy, there would be no unwanted interruptions while Gojyo had a little chat with the monk. He found Sanzo outside, leaning up against the brick wall of the inn while he smoked.

"Oi, Sanzo."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Got a question for you."

"Make it good."

"Oh, it is. It's more like a puzzle, and I think I figured it out."

"That will be a surprise."

"You'll be amazed. I had to watch, and listen, then put the clues together. I think I've come up with the right solution."

"Unlikely. Unless you were watching something female."

Gojyo's scarlet brows drew together. He was angry enough over what he suspected, but now he was just plain pissed off. "You're always telling me how stupid I am. How I should learn to listen and think. I thought you'd be happy to know that for once I took your advice." Two hostile puffs finished his cigarette. He threw it down in the dust and crushed it beneath his boot. "If you're going to be such an asshole about it, never mind. I'll just go ask Hakkai."

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "Tell me. But make it quick."

Gojyo hid his triumphant grin. He knew the monk couldn't stand the idea of Hakkai knowing more than he did. The urge to grin faded as his anger flared up again.

"Speaking of Hakkai, I think I know what's bothering him."

Sanzo's cigarette slipped from between his fingers, tumbling end over end before it hit the ground in a slight scatter of sparks. He cursed, pulling another out of the pack.

"It's funny, what happens when you live with somebody," Gojyo said. "You get to know every detail about what they do, all their little habits, their favorite things."

Gojyo held out his lighter, flame on. Sanzo leaned over to light his cigarette. Sanzo looked his usual cranky self, but his hand still shook a little, making the cigarette waver in the flame.

"Get to the point," Sanzo growled.

"Hakkai has all kinds of habits. He does certain things the same way every time." Gojyo smoked, steadying himself for what came next. "Like his limiters. As long as I've known him, I've never seen him take them off. Not for a bath, not ever."

"So what? He's just doing what I told him to do."

"The funny thing is, when I was sitting there at dinner tonight, I noticed something strange. One of Hakkai's limiters is on upside down."

"Impossible. You're imagining things."

"I don't think so. See, during some fight with the youkai, Hakkai went hand to hand with somebody. I remember him commenting on it when we stopped that night. He was looking in the mirror in the bathroom, noticing how the guy he was fighting had come close enough to cut him across the ear."

"Pretty fucking sloppy," Sanzo said. "He's lucky he didn't get his head taken off."

Gojyo snorted. "Yeah, well, Hakkai was pissed off over the mark it left on that one limiter. It's the one in the middle, so it shows more."

"I'm getting bored, kappa."

Gojyo grinned. Sanzo really meant he was getting nervous. "Fine. Here's the point. Tonight I noticed the scratch on Hakkai's limiter is backward. That means the limiter is on upside down." Gojyo turned to face Sanzo, leaning closer. "That means somebody took the limiter off. Hakkai would never do that. The only way anybody else could do it would be if Hakkai was out cold, drugged, tied up, or dead."

Sanzo looked him in the eye for a moment, then moved away, looking up at the stars dotting the night sky. "You're getting worked up over nothing, kappa. Hakkai himself could take one limiter off without undergoing a complete change."

"Does Hakkai know that?" Gojyo lowered his voice. "Did you ever tell him about that? I don't think so, because he's never mentioned it to me."

"Maybe he doesn't tell you everything, kappa. Some people have a sense of privacy."

The smug note in Sanzo's voice was a mistake. The monk was gloating over having something with Hakkai that he thought Gojyo didn't know about. Gojyo reached out one long arm to catch a fistful of Sanzo's robes and slam him up against the brick wall.

"I'll tell you what I do know, you son of a bitch. You took his limiters off."

"Get your fucking halfbreed hands off me!" Sanzo tried to get his hand into his sleeve. Gojyo pinned that wrist to the wall beside his head. "Goddammit, kappa! Let me go!"

"Shut the fuck up, you prick. You're going to listen." Gojyo took a deep breath. "No way would Hakkai let even you do that unless you'd done something to him like tying him up. And the only reason you'd have for tying him up would be some kind of kinky sex game."

"You would think that, you stupid fucking kappa! Not everybody thinks with his dick like you do!"

With his free hand, Gojyo slapped Sanzo across the face. "You worthless piece of shit! How could you do that to him? You know how he feels about being youkai! And for what? Just so you could get off on forcing him to let you fuck his youkai body?"

Sanzo's free hand moved. He was fast, but Gojyo was faster. Gojyo caught Sanzo's wrist, then jerked him away from the wall and spun him around, yanking both of Sanzo's wrists up behind his back. He pinned them in one big hand, then reached around to grab Sanzo by the throat and jerk him back against Gojyo's chest.

"If I had a knife," Gojyo snarled, "I'd cut that big red zit on your forehead right off. Maybe you were worthy of being a Sanzo when you were a thirteen year old virgin, but no fucking way are you worthy of it now."

He shoved Sanzo away. Sanzo whirled, gun in hand. Gojyo stood there, hands on hips.

"Go ahead, you selfish scumbag. Shoot me. It won't change the truth."

"Fuck you, Gojyo. You don't know shit!"

"Sure I don't. That's why Hakkai suddenly wanted to room with me. That's why Hakkai is having trouble using his arms. That's why Hakkai can't stand to look you in the eye." Gojyo took one step after another, walking straight up to Sanzo and glaring down into those hateful purple eyes. "I warned you, Sanzo. From now on, if you ever touch Hakkai without his permission, your high and mighty ass is mine."

Gojyo shoved past Sanzo, heading back to the inn's door. For once, Sanzo didn't answer Gojyo's threat with a sneer or a bullet or even the paper fan. Gojyo glanced back over his shoulder. Sanzo stood there, head bowed, pistol dangling from his loose grasp. With a satisfied nod, Gojyo went inside.

Another day. Another stretch of endless hours trapped in the Jeep with Hakkai's silence and nothing but noise from the other two idiots in back. Sanzo smoked, ignoring the occasional glance of disapproval from Hakkai. He'd had the nightmares again. Blood and screams and youkai everywhere. Then absolute stillness broken only by the sound of his master's blood oozing across the tatami. No rain last night, no reason for the nightmares to come to him. That left a sour taste in the back of his throat, a lingering queasiness and the horrible aching sense of something forgotten, something left undone.

Two hours past noon the cloud cover closed in and a thin drizzle began, dampening down the dust and turning it into a shit-colored slush that splattered up every time Jeep hit a rut or a pothole. Streaks of muck ran down Sanzo's robes from his waist to his ankle, leaving him even more pissed off at the universe in general. Hakkai sat hunched forward, gripping the wheel with white knuckles and a total absence of his usual fake smile. He stared ahead as if he shared the sick dread that crawled through Sanzo like ice cold worms.

The Jeep lurched as the right front wheel dropped into another depression in the road, jolting Sanzo and coating him in another layer of mud.

"Goddammit!" he roared. "What the fuck is going on? Somebody bring me a youkai so I can blow its fucking head off!"

Total silence from the back seat was his only comfort.

Another hour left them all wet and shivering and ready to kill. Sanzo kept his hands inside his sleeves, right hand gripping his pistol so hard the trigger guard was biting into the tendon in his index finger. He welcomed the pain. It helped him focus, helped him stay alert and keep watch for whatever was coming.

They stopped in the shelter of some pines for a cold lunch. Hakkai did his best with bread and cheese and some thinly sliced sausage. Sanzo chewed and chewed, trying to get a mouthful of it wet enough to choke down. The beer was gone and the fucking rain kept thwarting all of Hakkai's efforts to heat up some tea.

"Hakkai?" Goku piped up. "Are we gonna reach a town by dark? Tell me we are, huh? Please?"

"I hope so, Goku," Hakkai replied, trying to polish his monocle on the end of his wet sash. "The map isn't very precise about this stretch of road." He forced a smile. "We'll find some kind of shelter. There must be something out here, a barn or hut or shack..."

"That leaks," Gojyo grumbled.

"Back in the Jeep," Sanzo snapped. "And I don't want to hear another fucking word about food or rain or sleeping inside tonight, understood?" He stared up at the skies, cursing the heavy gray clouds. "We'll just have to deal with it."

Two more hours. Their rain capes were no help, locking in the wetness already in their clothes and leaving them all feeling wrinkled and mildewed. It was a genuine relief when they had to pass through a canyon with high rocky walls and the youkai suddenly attacked from both ends. The youkai from the end of the pass where they'd entered came straight at them, attacking hand to hand. Gojyo and Goku threw off their rain capes and sprang out of the Jeep with whoops of glee, their weapons shimmering into sight in their hands. Sanzo pulled out his pistol and put his back the rocky wall on his left. Hakkai covered his right side, raising a chi shield against the stones and arrows fired at them by the youkai blocking the far end of the pass.

"What is this? The fucking stone age?" Gojyo hooted. "Get some better weapons, assholes!"

For once Sanzo agreed with the kappa. This was really juvenile, even by the pathetic standards of most of the morons they'd faced. Goku let out a yelp. While he'd been getting up close and personal with a youkai, a stone winged him, gashing his cheek. The rain made the blood run faster down his neck, staining his shoulder.

"Fuck!" Gojyo staggered sideways, an arrow sticking out of his thigh. His opponent landed and glancing blow to the side of Gojyo's head. A quick sweep of the shakujo took out the youkai's legs. Swearing a blue streak, Gojyo yanked the arrow out and jammed it between the ribs of the next youkai coming down on him. "Hakkai! You've got our backs. Can't you blast those bastards?"

Hakkai shook his head. "I'm sorry, Gojyo. This attack was carefully planned. They know my range and they're keeping out of it."

"Mine as well," Sanzo growled. "Sneaky fucking sons of bitches. Now I really want to kill something!"

Hakkai frowned, concentrating. He raised the chi shield higher. "I can give you some kind of coverage. Hurry, please!"

Hakkai's shield held off the main brunt of the arrow and stone attacks, allowing Gojyo and Goku to go on the offensive again. Sanzo covered them as well, picking off any youkai that pressed in too close inside their guard while they faced another attacker. Two reloads later, Sanzo was grinding his teeth.

"Where are they all coming from?" Hakkai asked, speaking the very thought that was on Sanzo's mind. "Did they empty out Houtou Castle?"

"Goku!" Sanzo barked. "Take out the bowmen!"

"Right!" Goku answered. "Any idea how many?"

"Three, maybe four, to judge from the firing patterns."

Goku took off straight up the canyon wall, jabbing out footholds with blows from his nyoi-bo. Gojyo covered his back, whipping the crescent-shaped blade out and back again on its length of chain. With each target struck, he bellowed defiance at the rest. Hakkai slumped against the wall beside him. Sanzo took his eyes off the fighting long enough to note the green-eyed youkai's unusual pallor and the shaking of his hands.

"Hakkai? What's wrong? Are you hit?"

"No, Sanzo." Hakkai raised his face and tried to dredge up his usual fake smile. "I'm just so weary. Driving for hours in bad weather without enough sleep is very hard on me." He forced himself to straighten. "Please forgive my weakness. It's passing now."

Hakkai's tone was so cold, so formal. Sanzo forced himself to ignore the ache in his chest. He turned back to the battle, searching the skies and nodding in satisfaction at the slower rain of arrows.

The last three youkai from the first end of the pass had Gojyo surrounded. He spun the shakujo in his hands, whipping the fixed blade across the belly of one youkai while ramming the points of the crescent into the chest of another. The struggle had brought them within ten feet of Sanzo and Hakkai. The third youkai spun around and launched himself at Sanzo, the dagger in his clawed hand gripped for throwing. Just as the youkai's arm snapped back, ready to throw, Sanzo fired. The round caught the youkai in the throat. Three bursts of unclean light and their opponents vanished.

Gojyo stumbled back to lean against the wall, rubbing at his wounded leg. "You want me to go help Goku with the clean up?"

Sanzo nodded. "Make it quick. We need to be out of here fast."

Gojyo nodded and slung the shakujo over his shoulder, loping along toward the end of the canyon. Once he was far enough away, Sanzo turned to Hakkai. He searched for the right words, the ones that would bring Hakkai back to him again.

"Hakkai..."

"Yes, Sanzo?" Still so cold, so formal, his face turned away.

"I thought it would be OK. You know, with me."

Hakkai said nothing.

"I gave you the limiters. I'd never hurt you, don't you know that? I just thought—oh hell, I don't know what I thought." Sanzo lit up another cigarette, trying harder to put his tangled feelings into words. "Now that it's OK for me to want you, I want all of you. That side of you is still you. Just as hot and sexy and witty as this one."

At last Hakkai turned and looked Sanzo in the eye.

"Oh, Sanzo." Hakkai's harsh expression softened. "All you had to do was tell me--"

A shower of pebbles rained down on Sanzo's shoulders. Hakkai sprang forward, shoving Sanzo out of the way. An arrow sliced down from above, burying itself in Hakkai's back. With a cry he fell, his chi shield winking out. Sanzo whirled, sighting upward at the youkai bowman above. He emptied the last three shots into the youkai's face and chest. The youkai toppled forward, landing in the mud a few feet from where Hakkai lay.

"Bastard!" Sanzo dashed forward, ready to tear the fucker's throat out with his bare hands. His fingers closed on nothing as the flash of unclean glare took the youkai back to hell. Sanzo threw his head back and let out a roar of fury and anguish. "Gojyo! Goku! Get your asses back here now!"

A yell answered him. Down at the far end of the canyon, Goku and Gojyo appeared, running for all they were worth.

Sanzo crouched beside Hakkai, turning him over onto his stomach to relieve the pressure on the wound. "Open your eyes! Say something, damn it!"

The wound was bad. The arrow had struck just behind Hakkai's left shoulder, sinking in halfway, deep enough to puncture his lung. Those green eyes fluttered open, then focussed on Sanzo.

"It's...all right." Hakkai coughed. Blood stained his pale lips as they curved upward in the briefest of smiles. "You're safe. I can...go in peace."

"Fuck that noise, Hakkai! You're not going anywhere!"

Goku and Gojyo raced up, both panting. Gojyo took one look at Hakkai and dropped to his knees, studying the wound.

"Fuck me!" He slammed his fist against his unwounded thigh. "Where was he, up there?" He jerked his head up at the clifftop.

Sanzo nodded. He couldn't speak. His chest felt tight, and there was a stinging burn behind his eyes as he watched the green of Hakkai's tunic turn black with blood. Gojyo whipped off his vest and folded it up, then carefully lifted Hakkai's head and laid it down on the makeshift pillow.

"This is...a better death than I deserve." Hakkai pushed his limp hand through the dirt to touch Sanzo's muddied silks. "You should know that."

"Damn you, Hakkai!" Sanzo snarled. "You will not die! That's an order!"

"Sanzo." Gojyo put his hand on Sanzo's shoulder. "If attitude alone could cure him, you'd be the best healer there is. What he needs is blood, and chi, and time to heal." Gojyo brushed Hakkai's dark hair out of those glazed green eyes. "Can you give him any of those, Sanzo? Now's the time."

Sanzo stared down at Hakkai, his face twisted into a scowl of rage and sorrow. He clenched his hands together, biting down on his knuckles to fight off the stinging behind his eyes. He had not wept since that night so long ago when he'd lost the first person who meant the world to him. He'd sworn to never allow himself the weakness that would lead to such a loss again. Yet here he was, on his knees in the dirt beside his lover, watching that lover's life leaking away.

"I'll have to take off his limiters. His youkai form will heal faster than the human form."

Sanzo reached for the little silver clips on Hakkai's left ear. Gojyo caught his wrist.

"No fucking way! That alone could kill him!"

Sanzo glared pure death at Gojyo. "Get your hand off me, you stupid fucking halfbreed. Do you really think I'd do anything to him that would make him worse?"

"Think about it! You've seen what happens! His muscles stretch, his bones grow--" Gojyo waved his free hand. "What's it called, when all the blood comes gushing out?"

"Hemorrhage."

"Right! That could happen before his healing power could catch up!"

Sanzo held Gojyo's glare a moment longer. Gojyo was just as desperate as he was to save Hakkai. Both of them watched over the poor haunted bastard, Sanzo in his official role and Gojyo as best friend and roommate. Gojyo had known Hakkai much longer, had been the one to save his life that rainy night when his guts were hanging out. Sanzo sighed, then nodded. Gojyo let go of his wrist.

"So," Gojyo said. "What else can we do?"

"We've got to get the arrow out. If those bastards poisoned it, I swear I will hunt down every single one of them and strangle them with their own intestines."

"Ewwww!" Goku flinched. "Sanzo, would you really do that?"

"You want a demonstration? Now shut the fuck up and let me concentrate."

Sanzo rooted around in his sleeves and came up with a pocket knife. "Strike your lighter. We don't have any booze, so we'll have to sterilize this with fire."

Gojyo obeyed, cupping his other hand around the flame to keep it steady while Sanzo moved the little blade back and forth through it.

"Goku, sit on Hakkai's legs. This is going to hurt like a bitch. I can't have him flailing around."

Goku straddled Hakkai's knees.

Sanzo laid his hand on Hakkai's back, next to the wound. "I'm going to cut open your clothing, then try to cut a path that will let me lift the arrow out without pulling it backward through the entry wound. Does that sound right to you?"

"Fate...put my life...in...your hands, Sanzo-sama," Hakkai rasped.

"I'll take that as a yes." Sanzo cut away the cloth covering the wound. He pressed his fingers along the upper edge of Hakkai's shoulderblade, hoping like hell he found what he was looking for. Hakkai flinched. Gojyo stroked his hair, murmuring to him. Sanzo shoved aside a sharp pang of jealousy and focussed on his task. There it was. The arrowhead had nicked the bone, glancing off at an angle. If Hakkai was lucky, that had slowed the force of the arrow and diverted it enough to keep it from piercing his lung.

"Goku," Sanzo said, "what kind of bows were the youkai using? Long? Short?"

"Um, short, I think."

"Were they just a simple curve, or did the bow curve in and back out again?"

Goku's face scrunched up in thought. "Nothing fancy."

Sanzo let out his breath. A plain bow, rather than a recurve. Thank Kami-sama for that much mercy. "Gojyo? Where's that arrow you pulled out of your leg?"

Gojyo fetched it. Sanzo examined it, his relief increasing marginally when he saw the arrow was shorter than he might have expected it to be. Now for the hard part.

"Hakkai, brace yourself. I'm going to start the cut."

Gojyo held both of Hakkai's hands in his. Hakkai's hands were limp, those slender fingers Sanzo knew so well lying still and pale within Gojyo's bronze grasp. Sanzo shook himself. Focus, dammit, focus! He drew breath after breath, sinking into an almost meditative state. Envisioning the success of his task, he touched the tip of the blade to Hakkai's bloodied skin. A slow, shallow cut, following the line of the arrow shaft. Hakkai flinched, but with so little strength Sanzo bit his lower lip until he tasted blood.

"Goku! Lie down on his legs. Cover him up. He's going into shock."

The new wound added more blood to the steady flow. Sanzo cut away scraps of Hakkai's tunic and used them to wipe the wound clean so he could see what he was doing. It was grim, gory work, but at last Sanzo could tell where the arrowhead had stopped. He sat back, wiping his hands on another scrap of cloth.

"It's stuck on one of his ribs. Damn good thing. It stopped just short of his lung." Sanzo rubbed at his eyes, then pushed his sleeves back. "Now I have to get it out."

"Sanzo." Gojyo looked at him across Hakkai's body. "Let me do it. My hands are bigger, and I'm stronger than you are. I can do a smooth, steady pull."

"Fuck off, Gojyo! Stop distracting me!" Anger and frustration and the desire to protect and care for Hakkai all by himself fought with the unhappy knowledge that Gojyo was probably right.

"All I'm saying," Gojyo said in a gentle voice, "is that you've been working damn hard and maybe it's time for a break. I could never do what you just did. You know so much about so many things... But this, the strength part, this I can do."

Sanzo looked into the scarlet eyes of the halfbreed, the cursed Child of Taboo. Then he did one of the hardest things he'd ever done. He moved aside.

Gojyo settled into position, then held out his hands. "Show me. Show me where and at what angle."

Surprised, Sanzo took hold of Gojyo's right hand and curled his fingers around the arrow shaft just above Hakkai's skin. "Think of Hakkai's neck as twelve noon. The arrow is stuck at ten forty-eight. You need to rotate it to ten forty-five, then pull upward, keeping the shaft in line with Hakkai's body, as straight as if he was standing straight. Understand?"

Gojyo nodded. He closed his eyes. "Hakkai, you're my best friend. I'm sorry this has to hurt."

"'S OK, Gojyo," came the faint whisper.

Gojyo took a deep breath, then began to pull. A noise of pain forced its way out of Hakkai's throat. Sanzo watched, keeping his hands on Hakkai's good shoulder, trying to keep him still.

"Good," Sanzo said. "Now start to turn it."

Gojyo began to rotate the arrow shaft. The scrape of metal on bone was audible even through Hakkai's flesh. Goku turned white and looked away, hiding his face against Hakkai's thigh. Hakkai tried to arch upward. Goku's weight and Sanzo's hands kept him down. More noise crawled out of Hakkai.

"Oh God, 'Kai, I'm so sorry." Gojyo kept turning, blinking away the tears that streamed down his face.

Something snapped. Hakkai jumped. And the arrow came free. Gojyo threw his head back and let out a shout of relief.

"I did it, 'Kai! I did it!"

Blood welled up from the wound, darker and thicker. Hakkai lay still, paler than ever. Sanzo touched his neck, feeling for a pulse.

"Oh shit. He's still alive, but he's getting weaker. We've got to stop the bleeding." Sanzo pressed both hands over the wound. "Gojyo. Take the knife and start cutting up my sleeves."

"Your robes?"

"Fuck my robes! We need bandages and this is the only silk we have!"

Gojyo obeyed, following Sanzo's directions about how wide and long to make the strips.

"I think we'll have to pack the wound. Not a hell of a lot we can do about the risk of infection." He reached out and cuffed Gojyo across the back of the head.

"Oi! What the fuck was that for?"

"That was for drinking all the beer and taking away our only source of alcohol."

"How the fuck was I supposed to know something like this was going to happen?"

Sanzo opened his mouth to snarl back at him. Then he caught sight of the large wet patches all over Gojyo's tank top, already drying into salt stains. Such pride in Gojyo's voice when he pulled the arrow free, showing it to Hakkai like a child hoping for praise. Sanzo sighed.

"Never mind. You're the one who knows about keeping Hakkai's body in one piece. You take care of bandaging the wound." He retired to smoke a much needed cigarette.

Ten minutes later the bandages had soaked through. Gojyo kept changing them, but it made no difference.

"Sanzo?" Gojyo's voice was tight with strain. "We need a new plan. Fast."

Sanzo stared up at the clouds, thinner and paler now the tragedy had finally struck. Watery gleams of sunlight appeared here and there, faint hints of the glorious golden sun hiding somewhere up there. Just like Hakkai's chi, his lifeforce, draining away as surely as his blood did.

Chi. Lifeforce. Power.

"Goku!" Sanzo snapped. "Where are you?"

"Here I am, Sanzo." Goku edged closer from where he'd been sitting a few feet behind Gojyo. "Hakkai—he isn't—isn't going to die, is he, Sanzo? You can fix him, right?

"Get over here, you stupid monkey!"

Sanzo stabbed one finger at the spot on the other side of Hakkai's body from where Sanzo himself knelt. Goku crouched there, his golden eyes darting from face to face.

Sanzo peeled off the black leather arm warmers. He rubbed his hands together briskly, then held them out palm down over Hakkai's solar plexus.

"Come on, monkey," Sanzo said. "Hakkai needs our chi. Give him everything you've got."

"Sanzo," Gojyo said. "That's not healing chi. You don't know what you're doing."

"Ask me if I give a shit." Sanzo's golden brows drew together in a frown of concentration. "I was the best at martial arts the temple had ever seen. I know about channeling chi, even if I haven't had training as a healer."

Sanzo looked up at Goku. The boy's golden eyes were brimming with tears, fixing Sanzo with a look of hope and fear. Sanzo reached across Hakkai to ruffle Goku's hair.

"Do exactly as I tell you, Goku."

Goku nodded.

"Hold out your hands."

Sanzo laced his fingers together with Goku's holding their linked hands steady a few inches above Hakkai's back. Sanzo glared up at the heavens.

"Somebody up there owes me, damn it!"

Gojyo grinned. "Now that's what I call a forceful prayer!"

"Shut up, cockroach!" Sanzo closed his eyes, looking inward to find the energies that moved through his body. "Goku. Gather your life force. Not all of it, just enough to make a steady stream like pouring water into a tea cup. Go easy, or you might overdo it."

"Yes, Sanzo."

Sanzo's hands felt warm with the increase in circulation that told him his mastery of his chi had not entirely faded with lack of practice. Goku's hands heated up so quickly Sanzo had to fight his reflex to snatch his hands back.

"Good," Sanzo said. "Now let's pour it into Hakkai. Slowly."

The stream of their combined energies shimmered into sight, a deep honey gold twining around a ray of pure sunshine. Hakkai flinched, then arched upward, crying out.

"'Kai?" Gojyo threw himself flat in front of Hakkai. "Are you awake?"

"It burns!" Hakkai thrashed, trying to crawl away. "This—this is combat chi, not—what I use!"

"Is it working?" Gojyo leaned over Hakkai, so close his long crimson hair trailed across Hakkai's forehead. "How do you feel?"

Hakkai bared his teeth, his shoulders twitching, his hands opening and closing. "Hot. Prickly. Harsh." He coughed out a laugh, spitting blood. "Just like Sanzo."

"How do we stop the leak?" Sanzo asked. "How do we find it?"

Hakkai settled back, keeping still despite the constant twitching of his muscles. "Where the wound is worst..."

"Can we just fill you up and let your body work using our chi until your own builds up?"

"Don't know..." Hakkai's voice faded to a thin whisper. What color he had drained away, leaving him looking gray and empty.

"Hakkai!" Sanzo cried. "Talk to me!"

Gojyo grabbed Hakkai's shoulder and shook him. "Wake up, man! You can't just slide out now!"

"Hakkai!" Goku wailed. His tears spilled over, streaking his dirty cheeks. "Who's going to finish teaching me how to read?"

"Hakkai!" Sanzo roared, clutching Goku's hands so tightly Goku squeaked in pain. "Don't you dare leave me! I won't lose you too! I won't!"

He yanked his hands free of Goku's grip and pressed his hands against the cool skin over Hakkai's heart. He couldn't feel a heartbeat.

"Your life is in my hands, remember? The Three Aspects have left the final judgment up to me!" He concentrated, trying to get the chi flowing into a rhythm that would restart Hakkai's heartbeat. "Now open your eyes, damn you! Speak to me, before I consign your lazy worthless pedantic soul to the farthest hell!"

The very air around Sanzo shimmered and glittered with the force of his rising chi. His hands blazed. Hakkai's head snapped back. His mouth opened. A long wail of infinite grief and agony poured out, making Goku jerk away and Gojyo stumble backward with a curse.

"You are mine to command, Cho Hakkai!" Sanzo cried. "You do not have my permission to die!"

Hakkai's eyes opened. His right hand scrabbled at Sanzo's knee, clutching Sanzo's silks.

"Enough! Enough!" Hakkai croaked. "Much more and you'll burn out every nerve in my body!"

Blinded by a flood of tears, Sanzo eased back on the flow of chi, tapering it to nothing. While he and Gojyo and Goku watched, the flow of Hakkai's blood slowed. After a minute or two, it was clear the bleeding had stopped. The flesh began to knit, not the smooth clean seal of Hakkai's work but good enough. Goku let out a whoop of joy. Gojyo sat back, pulling off his headband to mop the sweat and tears from his face.

Sanzo took one slow, deep breath, then let it out again. "Help me turn him over."

Gojyo and Goku helped ease Hakkai over in one smooth move, keeping his body from torquing and putting any strain on the wound. Sanzo thrust his left arm under Hakkai's head, wrapping his right arm around Hakkai's waist and cradling Hakkai against his chest. More tears washed the blood and dirt from Hakkai's face. Sanzo pressed his lips to Hakkai's forehead.

"Bastard," he murmured against the warm skin. "Don't you ever make me do this again."

Sanzo leaned back to glare down into Hakkai's eyes. Hakkai just smiled, real and bright.

"So!" Gojyo lit up a fresh cigarette, blew out a plume of smoke, then eyed Sanzo and Hakkai with his biggest grin. "When's the wedding? Do I get to be a bridesmaid?"

"Goku," Sanzo growled. "You have ten minutes free time to beat on Gojyo to your heart's content."

"Really?" Goku leaped up, his nyoi-bo shimmering between his hands.

Gojyo scrambled to his feet, not even bothering to swear as he ran for it. Sanzo shut out their shouts, focussing all of his attention on the rise and fall of Hakkai's chest and the steady beating of his heart.

"Hakkai?"

"Yes, Sanzo?"

Even with Goku and Gojyo far out of hearing, Sanzo still leaned down to touch his lips to Hakkai's ear and whisper against it. "Forgive me, Hakkai. For every pain I've ever caused you." He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Hakkai's thick dark hair. "I will never be worthy of your love."

Hakkai struggled to lift his right hand toward Sanzo's face. Sanzo caught that hand in his, pressing it against his cheek.

"Sanzo." Those green eyes sparkled with joy. "Thank you. I know how hard it is for you to say that."

Hakkai drifted into natural sleep. Sanzo held him close, glancing up at the heavens to whisper a heartfelt prayer of thanks.

END


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